Welcome.

Dateline: April 5, 2010 London, United Kingdom

(inaudible)
VP Longwood: “Welcome to Standards and Safety Mr. Hayward.”
CEO Hayward: “Thanks you Mr. Longwood. Which department will we be visiting first?”
VP Longwood: “This is our long term projections team finishing up their quarterly report.”
CEO Hayward: “Wonderful! What are they?”
Department Representative 1: “Well sir, we were just about to finish the report and then we decided to watch pornography (inaudible).”
CEO Hayward: “Pornography…? Oh…very well. Perhaps we should move on to another department.”

VP Longwood: “Excellent sir. Over here is our process department which refines efficiency and cost effectiveness.”
CEO Hayward: “Wonderful! Where are we at in the process?”
Department Representative 2: “We were expected to finish our conclusion this afternoon (inaudible) but, we decided to go ahead watch a little pornography” says the department representative.
CEO Hayward: “I see! Well…off you go.”

(inaudible)

“Longwood, I’m no prude or anything – I like the ones when they do that little doubly thing. But, let me ask you, at this moment, what percentage of this department is viewing pornography?”
VP Longwood: “About 65% sir.”
CEO Hayward: “65? Well what would it take to get that number down to say 45%? You know this global market is becoming increasingly competitive.”
VP Longwood: “45% sir? Oh I think that would be extremely difficult. You see these blokes usually hit the pubs for lunch and have a few pints. They come back to work with their heads wrapped around what they had hoped to have their hands wrapped around or at least have a hand wrapped around their other head.”
CEO Hayward: “I See.”

(inaudible)

VP Longwood: “And furthermore we wouldn’t want to  infringe on their ability to express their own individuality.”
CEO Hayward: “Well what is he looking at?”
VP Longwood: “Oh that’s Randall, he likes the really graphic stuff.”
CEO Hayward: “What does he do?”
VP Longwood: “He’s our graphic designer.”
CEO Hayward: “What about him?
VP Longwood: “That’s Mr. Abacus, he’s our accountant –sticks to the pretty standard stuff, missionary mostly.”
CEO Hayward: “So you’re saying that if I watch more pornography, maybe with some of that doubly stuff, that my productivity will increase as has this department
VP Longwood: “Yes!”
CEO Hayward: “Excellent! I’ll see what I can do about expanding bandwidth around here. Maybe we could get that number up to 75%.”
VP Longwood: “Wonderful sir! You know Halliburton sent their extensive collection to us in order to aid in our productivity.”
CEO Hayward: “May I see it.”
VP Longwood: “No it’s not formatted yet.”

(End)

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After even further consideration, I have decided that could never aspire to be that ‘dope’ as to call myself “M. Fiddy.” It’s just plain silly. I will remain “Mad Francis” (for now). Plans for my “Long Schlong” clothing line are also on hold.

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Mad Francis to Change Name

May 13, 2010

After careful consideration and in following in the footsteps of several successful hip-hop ‘artists’, I have officially changed my name from “Mad Francis” to “M. Fiddy.” It is my hope that you will experience a new level of ‘dopeness’ in my music and name. Thank you! Share and Enjoy:

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You Can’t Smell A Download…Yet

April 16, 2010

Some of us are inclined to think that if something is free, than it’s probably pretty crappy. I tend to be one of those people. But on the flip side, I am always looking for something free online. I can’t help it. Also, I expect it and seeking free stuff online has become one of [...]

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Stylistically You’ve Got to Wonder

April 7, 2010

With the advent of the Internet, we live in an age of hyper-categorization. You can find a sub-category of a sub-category from a niche of a subset as obscure as an Eskimo tropical resort community. I’ve wrestled with how to describe my music for many years and have never truly decided on a label. I’m [...]

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Presonus Firebox Firewire Audio Interface – So Fried!

March 27, 2010

For those of you who are not interested in the the technical aspects of recording, I would suggest that you skip this blog. First off, I must state that I was satisfied with the overall performance of my Presonus Firebox firewire audio interface. I found the preamps to be clean and it offers multiple outputting [...]

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Hopefully Not the Most Interesting Blog

March 24, 2010

The word “interesting” cracks me up almost every time I hear someone say it. From my experience, it is rarely used as it is defined. The dictionary states that interesting means to hold one’s attention. For any of you who are artists, it means something entirely different. Now I don’t know about you, but when [...]

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What’s in a Name?

March 21, 2010

I can’t think of better way to start off this blog than by talking about where the name “Mad Francis” originated. First off, my middle name is Francis. Anybody who comes from a catholic upbringing is bound to know an inordinate number of people named “Francis”. My grandfather is “Francis”, my cousin is “Francis”, my [...]

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